The double spacing bug!

I do not know where i got this terrile bad habit
but its now starting to get to me
My editor Carol is definately not amused....
esspecially about my
come lately....convictions
to retrieve all my stories
and
de-single space them
Oh God i am so
tired.......
hellllllllllllllllllllllll
cant i just stop!

A terrible weekend...charting my course up!

So I have survived this semester of law school, almost! I just got thru with all the tests and course works? Exams…a week away. but it still feels good to have a shorter list of worries…, I just got thru with one thing ….good reason to celebrate….….I arrive home craving nothing more than sleep and several days of mind less-television and sit aways with my gal phoebe on the nandos terrace, of course not doing much…gossiping and commenting about just about any thing…you can only pray you skip our eyes !
Any how I had planned all this in advance set the weekend apart….Andrew was definitely out of the picture , since phoebe was what was making it any way( never thought we could ever have a compatible good hanging with the two of them together!)…Yep…sooooooo! …first my phone blacks out...my efforts to save e day went as far as me becoming part of Dj Momo z machine crew. The phone still refused to charge up…just a little for me to get a hold of phoebe…. I didn’t…..
any how bottom line is I got home…at 8..on a Friday …Strange!
I had to stand my Uncle steven ‘s incessant questions and my mother’s annoying references to “ my daughter, the budding lawyer”
But some where alone in the dark of my room I found my self smiling in tacit recognition of my week’s accomplishments… although the worst is only half over……..i am a survivor….whether I am any thing more than that will be determined by that piece of paper I receive mid…my next semester…..That’s…a little too far to worry me…. For now. I will just sit back and think about my flipping weekend………and where the hell my gal is..!.

AS I GROW OLD!

THE FIRST TIME I GET ROBBED...IT MIGHT NOT BE THE LAST

do not know why its you again...that i have finally settled for
you mylittle ugly fad formed blog
that i run to only when the reality of this world hits me
youre not as fashionable as the rest of your unknown friendz ...little jars , phenix en all the others.....
ure still my treasure
i can talk to you...you wont be there to stare into my eyes when i cry like a child
I can cry infront of you....you know who i am
i can tell you the truth because you wont judge me
youve taken the place of a father a world away, a mother first to judge , a best friend selfish and all those who think they are close to me...en dnt think i can only see through them.......
To you i can whisper quietly in the nite the reason i jst cant trust God any more...
he made a promise he didnt keep.....he took my brother when i stayed updayz en nites asking him not to do so............. how can i trust him with the rest of my mix?
i can tell you again that i have failed at almost everything i have planned lately
Did you ever think i couldmake a loser?......yo.u wouldnt knw...any way....
what do you think i should do????
i can tell you that i cried the whole day today........... my eyez are red and my head hurts
I did not cry because of my property now gone....
but because of the empty miserable world that wz closing in on me....
where was every one when i needed them....
where wz every one who kps me days en nites worrying about how to hold friendz...........
may be i just dnt need them....or may be i just cant do with out them............
may be i wouldnt stand the shame of breaking me into a sobbing little gal..............
i do not know what tomorrow will be like....but i need you to promise me a better day
tell me that every thing will be okay when i get up to face tomorrow...
i am so scared....so alone.......so confused........so ......so.....so

AS I GROW OLD 3

Where is the world I built a few years ago,
Where are the dreams
Did I really know the reality of life?
Is it the reason I am going a road un marked?
I feel what I don’t know
Tears at the back of my head that I just cant cry out
I feel so alone
So scared
So confused
What will I tell the world
How am I supposed to face it
Not reading books
Not working either!

I want my life back
I want to go back home
I don’t want to have any more secrets
I don’t want to be far away from my family any more
I don’t want any more friends
I don’t want to hang out any more
I don’t want to know Serugo
I don’t want to know that men can hit on me
I don’t want to know what law school is all about
I don’t want to imagine I ever met Dirk
I don’t want to imagine phoebe leaving for Italy in a few days
I want Abu back
I want my bed room at home
I don’t want to imagine I live in these hostel rooms
I do not want to use boda bodas any more
I don’t want to spend hungry nights all alone
I don’t want to imagine me mad at you
I don’t want to imagine possibilities of heart breaks
I don’t want to work
I don’t want to buy my own food any more
I want Mellisa back
I don’t want to regret why I didn’t go to Dar
I don’t want to imagine you are selfish
I don’t want you to READ THIS!